::who I am deep down inside..
I am super face-conscious.. o.o especially when it comes to emotional matters..
I am afraid of rejection.. x.x I can't accept it.. I have nightmares about it..
I am fickle.. =s I regret my decisions half the time..
I am shy.. >.< My heart is as big as a pea.. it shrinks and strangles me everytime it encounters something new..
..guess that makes me a.... loser! O.o oh mannn...::

.:firestarter blogged on 11:16 PM:.
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::Now that secondary school life is over... sort of.. I thought I might do one of those reflections thing that everyone else seems to be doing. =]
so here we go.. back to four years ago..
secondary 1.. *drumroll* me.. in secondary 1. I can't remember.. =z I was often the quiet guy in the class. I didn't make alot of things happen.. and not a lot of things happend to me. Training was horrible. I hardly get any faster. Although I came close to competing in Nationals. (then again, the same year I also qualified for the finals during a lesser competition, and got myself disqualified during the finals..hmmm) Third Language was.. the only escape from the strange intense new school I found myself in.. I still remember taking a photograph with my parents in the school compound before I was admitted to the school..
secondary 2.. same as secondary 1.
secondary 3.. I got into BSP! I opened up more! I had a okay time at BSP camp? LuoHanYu... oh ya. and I emceed horribly during the camp. Talk about leaving a first impression.. Did I mention I improved superbly for my track timings? I was breaking personal best timings all the time and shot up the rankings in the team. I also became the sprints captain.. and won bronze in nationals. =] (my best and only individual medal.. -.-)
secondary 4! fantastic year really. So much happened.. I started the Beauty Up My Life group.. chengyi as 'advisor'.. I was in pday prelim2 for e first time in my life.. I chose a research paper mentor from hell.. Aedes Mosquito nearly killed me.. My coach told me I have mentality problem.. BUT despite all that, I ended the year with a MSG of 1.00 for e first time EVER! =D and did I mention the people of 4K was fantastic? Maybe I'll dedicate another post just for the people of 4K =] 4K is unbelievably united, funny, talented, and simply e best in everything (if not studies..but who cares?)::

.:firestarter blogged on 1:13 PM:.
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::..looks over at the tagboard.. =s seriously.. i have no idea who is so persistent imitating me..
anyway, school is.. over? (again? -.-) Well today is supposedly the day that school is truly OVER. We have graduated! (without a graduation certificate or whatever..) We have no more lessons! (but still more exams... -.-)
Not a hell of a difference if you ask me.. We have, afterall been enjoying holidaying in class for the past few weeks already. In fact, the next few days, the days AFTER school has ended, will be one of the more stressful times in recent weeks!
no holidaying for me... =s o ya.. n what's in the queue should i get over studying for O'level Chinese AND German? hmmm.. more studying to prepare for JC selection tests.. and... *drumrolls* traaaiinnning. *Gasps* oh em gee...::

.:firestarter blogged on 1:07 AM:.
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::wo shi shen..
haha.. 1.oo man!! When I heard the news I nearly shouted for joy! My heart was in my throat and I felt as light as a feather... and I felt an unstoppable urge to celebrate!
So i did.. with soccer! Unfortunately we chose field soccer.. and with hindsight, that was indeed a stupid decision.. which jiawei is still regretting right at this very moment.. 8 hours after the decision was made.
Anyway, wondering why I am so happy to achieve 1.00? A perfect score?
Of course, it would not have been such a big deal if everything was within my control.. My IH results was repeatedly jeopardized by my HRP.. then by teachers who forgot to submit my ACE o.o.. and by ME, who inexplicably screwed up his only chance to revive his HRP by screwing up during Oral Defence.
You'd think after all that, I was hopeless and done for. Apparently not, as I again redeemed myself and got my first perfect academic grade since I joined the then chinese high... =] hmmm....
who's the man!! damnit im good.. hahaha.. =p::

.:firestarter blogged on 9:30 PM:.
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::damnn.. another disappointing paper in Physics. A paltry 84% that was surpassed by siqing, gumiao, and many more. A blessing then that i am not likely to take Physics next year whatever happens. Still I could encounter Physics again.. if.. i set my mind on STP..
Lets move on shall we? to the happy stuff!
=D
Guess what I scored for English peeps!! My heart nearly jumped out of my throat as I waited for my english papers..(not helped by hongshen who was hitting my head from behind and trying to accuse jiawei for it)
one by one.. my different components of english papers came to me.. 23, 18, 26, 15..
then i went.. OH EM GEE...
am I freaking awesome.. or am I freaking.. awesome. o.o
haha.. this paper is the only paper I scored ABOVE expectation. I knew i'd do well, but to do SO well? I was flattered. hehe.
This is only the begining of a long and tedious journey.. this A1 is my starting block. I shall push on it, and accelerate to top speed as fast as possible. Because if I don't, I would lose the race, no doubt about it.
And I will not lose this race.
.
o.O and this does not necessarily mean I am GOING FOR TRAINING NEXT WEEK! what the.. haii. someone convince me not to go...::

.:firestarter blogged on 9:47 PM:.
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::hello hello... =]
a side glance at my tag board reveals... still no posts!? abit sad... some joker go make me happy leh. ^.^
anyway... exam results.. nothing to be too happy about yet. Only expected disappointment in chemistry.. with a shocking A2- 70.5%.
The two papers we got back today were biology and mathematics.
Bio was ok, like expected.
Mathematics was scary and abit surprising. I got more mistakes than I expected. The questions I felt confident of scoring I did not score fully. The questions I felt I got it wrong.. of course I got it wrong. The irritating revelation it gave was that my foundation and aptitude for mathematics is still lacking. Like the cliche ROME WAS NOT BUILT IN A DAY. The intense mugging and practising at the eleventh hour for mathematics was useful to a certain extent but alarmingly not a effective nor sure way of improving one's mathematics. It was certainly not expedient looking at my results.
What did I get for Mathematics and Biology?
=/ well... 84% and 90.5% respectively..
I guess I can only look to the future and work harder... no choice sia.::

.:firestarter blogged on 10:27 PM:.
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::Show up... and complete the task.
zzz.. got it? =]
If you do start, see it through even if the heavens fall.::

.:firestarter blogged on 12:12 AM:.
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::Attention... Attention...
EXAMS ARE EFFECTIVELY OVER! o.o
woohhoooooo~ (Well there's Chinese on Thursday.. but that doesn count does it? x))
haha.. so with today's horrible Math paper out of the way, we spent the rest of the morning and noon slacking off. O man it sucked.. well it rocked.. but it was so slacky it sucked. yah..
I went home and dropped dead in my bed. When i woke up again, it was already evening. *"Yawn..* No appetite.. which has been usual since exam started.. I started my computer and did almost everything i can think of..
the question.. what to do tmrw?? -.- haiiii.. study chinese? biang eh..
oh.. and I have GERMAN LESSON thurs afternoon!! and I still have not touched ANY of the assignments(abt 5 pieces) she gave us. xD and getting an A1 for German is one of the goals I set for myself. =z
.Friday is Jeff Day!.::

.:firestarter blogged on 10:52 PM:.
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::rawr. >.<::

.:firestarter blogged on 10:28 PM:.
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::wee.. i ammmm happy. =]
hehe. i feel alot better than y'day already. Physics really is a breeze you know =p Looking at how things are going, I look suited to physics and biology! too bad no one treat it as a viable option. I really did not study too much y'day? Less than biology and physics, and yet I did pretty well today. =D maybe im just lucky.. or maybe not ;)
haha.. so after receiving a morale booster after Physics exam and knowing I have an important German O'level Oral test later at 2pm, what do I do? Play Soccer! o.O no sense right.. I don't know why also. Im nuts about soccer..
Somemore I was wearing 'bata' shoe! a big floppy white school shoe that is clumsier than a dunk! I try to control the ball with my bata hoofs but to no avail.. until i got warmed up. ;)
haha.. or we all got warmed up.. the team played better and after my opening goal, we scored a few more before being knocked out again by bingxiang i tink after a defensive mix-up from who arr.. left them with some open shots. After we won a few games again before aran knocked us out again.
played until 12.30pm.
haha.. then those assholes just ran away leaving me with the ball.. =.- is that how u treat ur star player? o.o hehe.. went back to class, turned on the aircon and stripped to cool off.
Met TK, studied, crapped, crapped, crapped... then went to O'level oral late =/ wat the hell.. and we all damn hungry. Guess the topic for my oral test? =] Essen! or in english, food.
I horrified them with my (false)confession that I ate Mac three times a week.. and told them eating unhealthy food is not a problem for me because I am young. =z
haha. that's it. then TK n I went to J8 to chi dou fu.. =x chi long john silvers.. ja.
hooray! Final milestone is Math paper next week. Before that, there is the chinese paper to take care of tmrw.
.=)::

.:firestarter blogged on 8:31 PM:.
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::ARGH!
Life is miserable..miserable...miserable.. or rather, life with exams!
I am experiencing possibly the worst exam period in my life! o.o although I am not getting the worst result around, I am getting a tough time.
Today was the a strange irony. Chemistry- supposedly the easiest subject of the sciences and a subject I score really high for all year round- buffled me! I had no answers for the last 10marks question!? wth.. and the irony? Everyone thought the test was easy! Some claiming A1 is without doubt! omg... my head hurts...
lets look to the future...
tmrw i have... well well.. physics! supposedly the hardest of the sciences.. o. n there's German O'level oral just after physics exam at MOELC?? exciiiiting... >.<
.im gg back to my books. byebye.::

.:firestarter blogged on 12:08 PM:.
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