::TRACK. (another thing on my mind.. =s)
Yesterday morning when I was at training, lawrence talked to me about training again. 'now would be a good time for you to.. try.. to come more regularly for training.' (sooomething like that..) It was not the first time he talked to me about this, and I always thought I knew better. My mind switched to my prepared script and blurted out that I have other priorities and I am not sure if it is worth it to work hard and sacrifice all others for e team again.
'I always thought track was your first priority...'
I said yes.. it was.
I can hear the disappointment in his voice.. I know I could help the team.. If I work hard again.. it would be for the school, for the coach, for lawrence.. it unfortunately would not be for me. I need a new challenge.. I need to go somewhere I belong.. Track, at least for now, does not feel like home, nor a place that can teach me anything new.
...
a while ago I was looking at the earliest posts on this blog. It was 2005.. I just got "elected" to sprints captain. I was vilified and posted a few posts to express my frustration, dedication to training and my vision for the team. It was funny, and touching at the same time. As I read through the posts, I realized how much I had given track and at the same time how much I had gotten out of it. The raw emotions that were in those posts were something that I could no longer understand and produce.
..
track.. thank you for the memories? =s
at least give me a year's rest to explore new options. *wink*::

.:firestarter blogged on 4:05 PM:.
...