::a lot of things bug me these days..
some are sophisticated problems.. some emotional.. some intellectual..
some can be solved by hardwork.. others can be solved by pure willpower..
a few needs time.. and there is one that even if i gave all i've got.. it hinges on something else..
something beyond me.
passion for what I want is unusual for me. Normally after I got interested into one thing i would control my yearnings. In turn I would want nothing in particular so when that thing is taken away from me, I won't be so disappointed. One problem is that inevitably with this mindset, that something gets taken away from me. Compounded by the fact that emotions and desires are not things one can consciously suppress, I still experience possibly the same amount of disappointment if I had not tried inhibit my yearnings.
Is that one of the mental limitations I have? I wouldn't know.. yet.
I suppose it is.. which means I need to change. People are attached to things they consider their own. Changing one's charcter entails one loses part of himself and embraces something new, alien or unknown. That means dealing with emotions, cutting relationships and building new ones. People are scared of the unknown. Therefore when people change, they are scared and needs courage.
I have made changes before. Changes need courage. I probably have enough courage to make another change if I want to.
[lol.. first a deductive and then a inductive argument.. or at at least I think they are.]
as you have realized by now.. the above few paragraphs are... crap. haha. loosely connected statements/arguments that are irrelevent to the main point of this post.
Sometimes people like to speak in a cryptic way. They do not want to be open about it because it could be personal, it could be private, or it could be unclear to even themselves so much that they cannot be clear about it.
That is fine.. unless they decide to act upon it despite its ambiguity. Then they have just dug a big hole for themselves. For acting (or NOT acting) based on a ambiguious emotion brings its own problems. The consequences are either you find out what you (don't) want, or you miss out on what you (don't) want without even knowing it. I recommend the first.
bleahx.. I am not even sure I made the point I wana make. Ambiguity rubs off on people.. when one starts to speak in a cryptic way, the immediate friends feel compelled to do so too.. in the end neither gets what each other is really talking about.
it's almost two months.. i need reassurance.. ;)
imagine what happens after three months.. =s::

.:firestarter blogged on 11:43 PM:.
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