::i'm back..
i need to write and express myself.
right now I feel as if no one around me will listen and understand what I want to say... much less understand who I am... that's why I need to blog, to write, to communicate to an imaginary audience that cares and understands.
not people who are too busy.. or only pretends to care...
i don't really need anyone to see this.. that's one of the reason I blogged here.. instead of maybe at livejournal.
I don't care. it's just me. I'm not normal. That you'll see.

I've been in the army... actually in OCS, alpha... we wake at 5 and sleep at 10.. that's an ordinary day... a good ordinary day...
some days we go on missions... we wake earlier and sleep later... we don battle gear and load our weapons... we get verbal abuse and physical exhaustion.. though we despair we never quit... we languish but never surrender.. we hang on until the day is done.. we stay as alpha warriors, officers-to-be..
then a day will come...when it comes to an end... and this day did come.. and it was time to leave.. not for a destination I had foreseen.. brunei, kranji, logistics, awaits... I was lost and confused.. acted and regretted... worldly thoughts in my head..
in brunei soldiers i led.. as one we sweat and bled.. it was our time to be man.. it was our glory.. our fun.. our time without regret.
back in singapore.. i came home alone.. faced up to reality.. and contemplated my life's goal.. my life has no brevity.. it does have soul.. i can fall and get back up... but there will be no let up.. my wishful thoughts are just that.. I'm not normal and that is that.. men play a fool while I march on.. faith in the future allows life to go on..::

.:firestarter blogged on 10:02 PM:.
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